


hearts bleed more after midnight

by ohmyclara (BooyahFordhamYacht)



Series: let it fall(tenrose oneshots) [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Doctor is sad, F/M, Just angst, Pain, Please Kill Me, Rose is gone, So much angst, Ten cries a lot, Ten is really sad and so am I, Ten misses Rose, Very depressing, Yikes, im actually crying, jesus christ what have i done, so sorry I wrote this, this fucking hurts, why did I write this, writin and tea drinkin and sOBBIN
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:57:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7942081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BooyahFordhamYacht/pseuds/ohmyclara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which Rose is gone and the Doctor never gets to tell her how he feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hearts bleed more after midnight

_She's crying, and the Doctor doesn't think he can handle watching her cry like this. She;s sobbing, and the Doctor's hearts are shattering like two slow motion bullets are slowly destroying them. All he wants is to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything is going to be okay, but he can't, because he's not really there and it's not really okay. He has to tell her how much he loves her before she's ripped from him forever. He can't have more than ten seconds left, probably less._

_"And I suppose, if it's my last chance to say it," he takes a deep, shaky breath, trying not to cry. "Rose Tyler-"  and just like that she's gone, and he's alone, standing in an empty TARDIS, tears slipping down his cheeks, the words "_ I love you _" left unspoken on his tongue._

 

_The Doctor covers his face with his hands and cries. And cries and cries and cries._

 

The Doctor sits up in bed, tears streaming down his face. It's been just about 24 hours since he lost Rose. Rose is gone. His lovely Rose is gone, the woman he had loved so long, the only woman he would ever love that way. He is alone, Rose is gone, and she is never going to come back. After everything he'd done, after  _everything,_ he had still lost her. He loved her so much, he fought for her, he did everything he could to keep her safe, and still he couldn't save her when the time came. He would never see her again, he'd had one chance to say goodbye, one chance to tell her how much he loved her. 

 

He had one chance to tell Rose that she was the woman that he wanted to spend all of his time with, that he wanted to kiss her and hug her and hold her and be there for her. He had one chance to tell her that she was everything he could ever want, that he would keep her safe and do anything to make her happy, take her anywhere, show her anything. And he didn't. 

 

The Doctor let her down. The last thing she would remember him ever saying to her was her name, and he had let her down. The one person he'd promised he'd always protect, he failed her, and that hurt more than anything he'd ever witnessed. That hurt more than being the last Time Lord, having every single one of his family and friends from Gallifrey be long dead. That hurt, and the Doctor was terrified at how much losing Rose had affected him. As much as he wishes he'll see her again someday, get her back in his arms where she belongs, he's nearly hoping he doesn't, because he's pretty sure he won't survive it if he loses her again. He can't.

 

And at the end of the day, the facts are simple. He loves Rose, will always love Rose. And Rose Tyler is gone, ripped from his arms forever. They're universes apart, and the Doctor can't fix that. And he can't get away from that fact, no matter how far he travels. He failed her, he couldn't save her. Rose is gone, he is to blame, and his hearts are broken. 

 

The Doctor gets out of bed and walks to the control room, and stares at the place Rose should be. It's empty. The whole TARDIS feels empty, like a void.

 

"I lost her. I lost Rose," he tells the empty TARDIS, and he falls to the ground in a heap, crying. The Doctor is crying, and he's not sure he's ever going to stop. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am SO SO SORRY! I was watching Ten/Rose "tell them I was happy" (can be found on Youtube) and this depressing little tidbit was born. I'll try to include more happy pieces in the future, but I actually kind of like the writing style used in this despite it being so so sad and so so short.


End file.
